Merry Jizzmas << No typo!

No, there is nothing wrong with that title but since some of you are in cloud 9 with the Christmas spirit, let’s stick to Merry Christmas. It’s Christmas Eve as I write this. Yes, I don’t have a life but before you go all judgy judgy on me, let me remind you that you are reading this. You too should get a life. Ok, let me be nice, it’s Christmas and no temper raising is necessary. We’re friends? Yes? Good. Who wants me over for Christmas? No one? I thought we were friends! Looks like I’ll be spending this one with me, myself and I. It’s a perfect chance for me to touch myself where I have never been touched before! What, you didn’t think I would sneek in some perversion in a Christmas post? That line was crossed the moment I decided to use ‘jizzmass’ in the title! Let’s move on…

Christmas is the season of giving, I don’t know what they mean by that but I’m sure my neighbor’s wife won’t mind some love on the side when the husband ain’t looking and it will be free. Yes this time, I won’t ask for payment. << Smart horny people know what I’m talking about.

Perversion aside, let’s be careful on the roads people. No sippin’ and drivin’ or sexin’ and drivin’. You know, “ati baby nikalie usikie nikikuinua“  and you are driving. SMDH! Stay Safe. 2012 needs people to live it. You also got to stay away from minors. {Watoto wa shule} Be careful when you are chips-fungaing. Kids are everywhere, you don’t want to be asking, “who’s your daddy?” only for her to say, “I don’t know, my mum is single!” Hard on becomes a Hard off. << I didn’t type that last part. This PC has auto-correct like my Smart phone and when I say smart phone, I mean it like it sounds, it a Smart phone. Well that is if what is written below the silhouette of Michael Jackson is anything to go by. Did I hear someone say ‘fake’? STFU, you are not on my level.

Before I head out, let me thank y’all who have been reading this shit blog. I have a special place for you in my…. NO, let’s not get emotional here, it’s just a blog but in all seriousness and sincerity I can master, THANK YOU. You are weird people, why? You have called me insane on numerous occasions but you still come back for more. What does that say about you? HEHEHEHEHE.

I know you have places to be so I’ll make this short: MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR. Damn, that was hard, I’m rarely that nice.

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On a lighter note: I received a text yesterday and let’s say my day was made. Here it is word for word:

Hi, how are you doing pal, I heard you are sick? Get laid soon - WHAT THE FUCK?

It’s an obvious wrong number since I’m in near perfect health but if not getting laid is a disease, then I’m definitely very sick, Ladies are you reading this?

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See you bagas in 2012.

Mad Blogger | 2011…